My job andhis location and schedule made impromptu correction almost impossiblein my home dungeon. And when he came home for weekends or holidaynaturally he was usually on his best behavior," she laughed, "I mean no matter how much we enjoy doing a nice session with them, we can't just makeup a reason!" Jan smiled, nodding, "Unfortunately I must agree!" "But once, I got word that Timmy had cut some classes, so I droveright over to the boarding school, waited for classes to get out,and had him come down to the visitors parking and get into my car.And then I told him he was going to be punished and drove to a secluded parking lot, and then I did him in the car!" "Wow," Jan smiled, admiring, "but,how, wasn't it confining?" "Yes, but we made it work. For one thing I drove the caddy, its nice androomy and tinted windows. And no you can't use a cane or strapbut I brought all the toys I could use up close with him. Believe me," she laughed, "he was very sorry!" Jan was. . sometimes I feel like I don't deserve anything good ... because of the accident ... and because of some other things too."Her arm slowly and carefully lifted from the chair and moved around behind Eddie's head, gently drawing his head toward her. She put his head in her lap and jerkily, but so very tenderly, stroked his cheek."Eddie ... I love you ... mo'e 'n anybody ... you good enough fo' me to love. Tama'a loves you ... you good enough fo' huh to love." She wiped away a tear from his face, using all the concentration and control she had. When she finished, she looked down at him and said, "God love you, you good enough fo' God to love. You think we all stupid?" No ... no I don't think y'all are stupid ... I just..." Eddie ... you got to let go them bad feelin's that ah weighin' you down, jus' like you tell me ... you got all the 'easons in the wo'ld to fly ... I need to tell Tama'a to get you some balloons?" No Schnicklefritz," he said, sniffing loudly, "you don't need to tell.
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